I'm Innocent! ....And Partial!

Word comes to us from Santa Barbara that eternally "innocent" Michael Jackson has been summoned for jury duty. That is so clutch. I can't wait to, in the middle of a lawyer questioning someone on the stand, have Mikey pop up and yell in that bewildered voice of his "He's innocent! He's innocent!". And instead of his lawyer's Suburban, he may get up on top of the jurors bench and hold an impromptu dance performance to one of his songs being blared on the intercom system. I'm sure defendants everywhere are breathing a sigh of relief knowing they'll have Peter Pan on the jury to bail them out.

But we may not get to see Michael in court as his lawyers claim he is now a resident of Bahrain. Let's just put it this way, if he gets caught doing in Bahrain what he was alleged to have done in Neverland, he won't be wearing any gloves, silver or otherwise, anymore because they'll probably relieve him of his fingers and hand the old fashioned way with an Aladdin style sword, which he'll want to puchase for his collections afterwards, of course.

Local Jury Commissioner Gary Blair said Jackson would most likely be excused from serving saying that "All he has to do is show he has legal residency somewhere else and he'll be exempted".

Rats! Shhhh Gary Gary, keep that stuff on the DL, don't deprive the American public of such a great oppotunity for entertainment!

When reached for comment, Jackson was reportedly heard to have said, "Can Tito take my place?"

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