Of Crossing Guards and Lunch Monitors
Am I the only one who wonders what school crossing guards and lunch monitors do the OTHER 6 hours of the workday?
Let's take the crossing guard first. You're out there let's say 7 to 8am and then you have a roughly 6 hour coffee break until 3pm. That is not a bad deal. You can run a few errands, go to the post office maybe. It's great. And the really cool part is that you can wear that bright orange seat belt looking harness belt thingy all day if you want. You can walk right out in the middle of any road, put on those sparkling white butler gloves and totally stop traffic anytime you want.
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And the lunch monitor person (Lunch Lady is no longer P.C.) who walks around the lunch room (usually always hovering close to the garbage can for reasons I don't understand) with their arms folded smiling as if they're out for a walk in the park. They're probably thinking to themselves "Wow, I actually found a job where they pay me to just stand."
The only time they really do anything is if a fight breaks out and they have to call the security guard who (if you read yesterday's post you'll know) rolls in wielding the almighty walkie-talkie.
I can just picture a tense mood as the lunch monitors are walking out of the school (in slow motion the way I picture it) finished with their grueling 2 hour workday coming face to face with the crossing guards entering the school for their pre-guarding meeting, bathroom session, badge polishing or whatever they do to prep for their afternoon duty.
They shoot each other evil looks. The crossing guards are proud of the fact that they work a double shift. The lunch monitors are proud of the fact that they've achieved the right to work indoors. No words are exchanged. Both tribes continue on their path knowing that the entire school structure would break down without their brief but vital roles day in and day out.
Let's take the crossing guard first. You're out there let's say 7 to 8am and then you have a roughly 6 hour coffee break until 3pm. That is not a bad deal. You can run a few errands, go to the post office maybe. It's great. And the really cool part is that you can wear that bright orange seat belt looking harness belt thingy all day if you want. You can walk right out in the middle of any road, put on those sparkling white butler gloves and totally stop traffic anytime you want.
ADVERTISEMENT: Read the Novels by Chetan Davé click here
And the lunch monitor person (Lunch Lady is no longer P.C.) who walks around the lunch room (usually always hovering close to the garbage can for reasons I don't understand) with their arms folded smiling as if they're out for a walk in the park. They're probably thinking to themselves "Wow, I actually found a job where they pay me to just stand."
The only time they really do anything is if a fight breaks out and they have to call the security guard who (if you read yesterday's post you'll know) rolls in wielding the almighty walkie-talkie.
I can just picture a tense mood as the lunch monitors are walking out of the school (in slow motion the way I picture it) finished with their grueling 2 hour workday coming face to face with the crossing guards entering the school for their pre-guarding meeting, bathroom session, badge polishing or whatever they do to prep for their afternoon duty.
They shoot each other evil looks. The crossing guards are proud of the fact that they work a double shift. The lunch monitors are proud of the fact that they've achieved the right to work indoors. No words are exchanged. Both tribes continue on their path knowing that the entire school structure would break down without their brief but vital roles day in and day out.
posted by UltimateWriter at 2:12 PM
3 Comments:
I'm confident that the bad karma of occasionally torturing lunch-ladies will return to me one day. :)
And as for crossing-guards... they must have gone the budget route at my school, since I and several other kids were able to "enlist," arriving early and staying late each day to do the crossing duties. The best part of the experience was that I learned how to properly fold the American flag.
jlb, you're talking about being a Safety Guard. God bless those days of feeling as if you were the coolest kid in the entire school because you had a title. Do they even do that anymore? It might be too much of an insurance liability ("Hey let's put these 10 year old kids in charge of other kid's lives as they cross busy streets together!")
oilspill: i know what you mean
jlb: there you go, you got something out of it.
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