Top Banana
The banana is one of the most underrated fruits around. It's so utilitarian. You don't have to wash it or anything. It's one of the few foods where if it was lying on the street for a while, it would still be safe to eat. That peel is an impenetrable fortress against microbes, insects, and other hostile forces. Those dark spots that you see sometimes on the outside of the banana? That's not ripening. Those spots were caused by unsuccessful enemy ships who met their doom at the hands of the great yellow defenses. So, uh yeah, go ahead and eat it.
At office meetings, you can replace the laser pointer with the banana. Just grab that banana by the rugged stump hook on top and point that airplane engine looking bottom anywhere and you'll grab everyone's attention for sure. "Quiet! I'm holding the banana, I have the floor!"
Home security? Who need's Slomin? You can use peels as booby traps to trip potential intruders. There is video documentation courtesy of the cartoon channel to prove that this works. Best part? It's free.
And for those trying to quit smoking? I believe there may have been a magazine article describing how the natives on the island of Cocua Mau Mau actually smoked bananas in lieu of abundantly available contraband growing on the island. Yeah, they know what's up.
This next point is a little untamed so if you're faint of heart, you may want to skip over this. Now I've heard that in tropical vacation locales, a harvest of large bananas (read genetic engineering but I don't have proof of this) have been industriously converted into boats, and tourists (up to 6 at a time mind you) ride on these at moderate to high speeds slightly offshore......Wild....wild stuff.
The only drawback to this great fruit is that it doesn't contain seeds so I can't take a couple and start mass producing them in the back yard. I tell you, it's so hard to start a small business these days.
So let's raise a glass of banana daquiri to our distant cousin, the gorilla, who had it all figured out long before us.
Feel free to comment or send to a friend!
HOLIDAY GIFT IDEA: The Novels by Chetan Davé click here
Copyright 2005 by Chetan Davé, All Rights Reserved.
At office meetings, you can replace the laser pointer with the banana. Just grab that banana by the rugged stump hook on top and point that airplane engine looking bottom anywhere and you'll grab everyone's attention for sure. "Quiet! I'm holding the banana, I have the floor!"
Home security? Who need's Slomin? You can use peels as booby traps to trip potential intruders. There is video documentation courtesy of the cartoon channel to prove that this works. Best part? It's free.
And for those trying to quit smoking? I believe there may have been a magazine article describing how the natives on the island of Cocua Mau Mau actually smoked bananas in lieu of abundantly available contraband growing on the island. Yeah, they know what's up.
This next point is a little untamed so if you're faint of heart, you may want to skip over this. Now I've heard that in tropical vacation locales, a harvest of large bananas (read genetic engineering but I don't have proof of this) have been industriously converted into boats, and tourists (up to 6 at a time mind you) ride on these at moderate to high speeds slightly offshore......Wild....wild stuff.
The only drawback to this great fruit is that it doesn't contain seeds so I can't take a couple and start mass producing them in the back yard. I tell you, it's so hard to start a small business these days.
So let's raise a glass of banana daquiri to our distant cousin, the gorilla, who had it all figured out long before us.
Feel free to comment or send to a friend!
HOLIDAY GIFT IDEA: The Novels by Chetan Davé click here
Copyright 2005 by Chetan Davé, All Rights Reserved.
posted by UltimateWriter at 8:46 AM
4 Comments:
reminds me of that old monty python sketch on defending yourself against an assailant wielding a piece of fresh fruit...
'i have now eaten the banana. the deceased mr. apricot is now disarmed...'
This post deserves a banana award! And I mean that as a compliment.
I have seen a few uses of the fruit myself, including taking a banana boat ride at one of the resorts in the Philippines. (but that boat was not made of banana).
The banana leaves are also very useful, they are woven to thin fabrics which are used as materials for blouses.
Now I wonder, how Banana Republic got its name.
Kudos to the almighty (and very tasty!) banana! I am very impressed with all it's range of use - and may I add one more note? It's not a very well known fact (I believe), but the banana is part of the herb family! ^-^ ! Just another amzing secret in the life of the banana...
ppd: hear hear
jollybeggar: yup, almost forgot that one, tx.
kmm: -thanks for the award...well there are so many people i want to thank...maybe later
- yeah banana boat rides are fun, i once had marlin jump out at us in mexico i couldn't whip the camera out in time though
- yet another use! brilliant.
- not sure but is panama jack their pitchman? if so, we know what country to start investigating
tinka: so it's an herb as well...interesting...that would explain it's smokability
kendrah: if i figure out a way to grow any, i'll let you know
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