And Then There Were Chairs
Here is an excerpt of a letter from the guy who invented the chair that he wrote to his brother the morning after:
"I finally did it. It took me many months of observing people sitting on boulders, tree stumps, and cliff ledges. From the beginning I had thought to myself 'There has to be a better way'. And alas, I have found one dear brother. No longer will man have to wade through the forest in search of that perfect parking space for their bum. People in barren prairies and valleys will be able to rest, propped up an arm's length and a half from the ground. No more squatting and therefore no more creaky knees. It stands yae high and is about as wide as mother's cutting board with four little pillars coming down from the base like little pig's legs which give it altitude. I shall call this device a chair, named for our grandfather Charles who, if you remember back to our days as tots, had spread the hair cut from his own head onto the stepping stool next to the furnace to reduce the gluteal friction while he sat down to smoke his pipe. Father had reminded him not to get too close to the coal burner right before he singed the knuckle hair off his left hand, but that is a blemish in our family's history we really don't need to get into right now. Anyway, I had thought of calling it Charleshair for a moment but I like the truncated version myself. By the way, could you please file a patent application for me? It's going to take me weeks to get out of this damn forest. Thanks."
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Read the Novels by Chetan Davé click here
Copyright 2006 by Chetan Davé ©, All Rights Reserved.
"I finally did it. It took me many months of observing people sitting on boulders, tree stumps, and cliff ledges. From the beginning I had thought to myself 'There has to be a better way'. And alas, I have found one dear brother. No longer will man have to wade through the forest in search of that perfect parking space for their bum. People in barren prairies and valleys will be able to rest, propped up an arm's length and a half from the ground. No more squatting and therefore no more creaky knees. It stands yae high and is about as wide as mother's cutting board with four little pillars coming down from the base like little pig's legs which give it altitude. I shall call this device a chair, named for our grandfather Charles who, if you remember back to our days as tots, had spread the hair cut from his own head onto the stepping stool next to the furnace to reduce the gluteal friction while he sat down to smoke his pipe. Father had reminded him not to get too close to the coal burner right before he singed the knuckle hair off his left hand, but that is a blemish in our family's history we really don't need to get into right now. Anyway, I had thought of calling it Charleshair for a moment but I like the truncated version myself. By the way, could you please file a patent application for me? It's going to take me weeks to get out of this damn forest. Thanks."
Comments welcome...
Send this post to a friend!
Read the Novels by Chetan Davé click here
Copyright 2006 by Chetan Davé ©, All Rights Reserved.
posted by UltimateWriter at 9:30 AM
6 Comments:
Interesting!
I guess it will have a connotation if someone says, I am sitting on a wooden charles.
When did the rocker come into the picture? Or was that the work of another genius?
Nice idea for a story...inventers of everyday stuff...could be really funny...
LOL, another classic! :) I really wonder where the word "chair" came from...I could google it, but that would take away from my sacred blogging time :P
Great post! It reminds me of a comedian with a dry sense of humor I saw a long time ago. I think his name is Jake Johansen, but I'm not even sure. He said:
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
~Mike
kmm: connotations can be fun
jlb: another genius, an older one possibly
cm: yes it would
oilf: thanks...keep the googling to a minimum and stand behind the police tape
mr. a: thanks! that would be cool to see
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