Chetan's Holiday Shopping Tips
Do not get irritated if you're in the department store doing your holiday shopping and you come across one or more of the following situations:
1. At the register the person on line in front of you has to have a price check, so you switch to another register and there, the person in front of you has to have a price check also.
2. There's this item that would make a perfect gift for that special someone, only problem is, it's the last of its kind in the entire store so the box is half opened on one side, there's scratches on the plastic wrapping/covering so you know some curious shopper before you has gotten their mits on it and "tested it out" before taking the same item with the unintruded wrapping way at the back of the shelf. So you're stuck with buying the item not knowing if it's going to fall apart in 2 days.
3. If you have to use the bathroom bad but find out that the restrooms are for employees only and you revert to desecrating the cleaning supplies closet whose door has accidentally (or fortunately for you) been left slightly ajar.
4. If you see someone's child rolling around on the linoleum floor using the months old dust on the ground to make snow angles and you feel a compulsion to say something to the ever caring parent of this child but you remind yourself that you are living in a phobic, litigation-happy society where it's best not to get involved in others' family matters.
5. If you happen to go to one of the 3 remaining department stores in the world that do not have automatic doors and you smash right into the glass on your way in, taking an especially tight hit to your abdomen where the handle to manually pull open the door juts into your belly.
6. If you accidentally knock down some clothes as you burrow in between the racks and the store worker gives you a dirty look for not picking them up.
7. If, in your haste to depart the store after you have finally gotten through the cash register, you come across a slower shopper who is nudging his cart along still intently reading his bill to make sure he didn't get screwed out of 5 bucks while totally blocking the exit and you, in an attempt to pass him, smash into his cart, elbow, or both.
8. If you're in the car ready to pull out of the parking lot and some genius places their used shopping cart right in between your car and the car next to you so you can't reverse without hitting the cart.
9. If you feel the compulsion to sit on Santa's lap even though you are heavier than he is, please refrain. Santa possesses a very low strength to weight ratio. And both of you could end up getting arrested, it could get very ugly.
10. If, after you have braved the dangers of the department stores, shops, and malls, you hand someone a gift and they say thank you through gritted teeth and a forced smile...
(insert chorus of voices audio here) DO NOT GET IRRITATED!!!
Read the Novels by Chetan Davé click here
1. At the register the person on line in front of you has to have a price check, so you switch to another register and there, the person in front of you has to have a price check also.
2. There's this item that would make a perfect gift for that special someone, only problem is, it's the last of its kind in the entire store so the box is half opened on one side, there's scratches on the plastic wrapping/covering so you know some curious shopper before you has gotten their mits on it and "tested it out" before taking the same item with the unintruded wrapping way at the back of the shelf. So you're stuck with buying the item not knowing if it's going to fall apart in 2 days.
3. If you have to use the bathroom bad but find out that the restrooms are for employees only and you revert to desecrating the cleaning supplies closet whose door has accidentally (or fortunately for you) been left slightly ajar.
4. If you see someone's child rolling around on the linoleum floor using the months old dust on the ground to make snow angles and you feel a compulsion to say something to the ever caring parent of this child but you remind yourself that you are living in a phobic, litigation-happy society where it's best not to get involved in others' family matters.
5. If you happen to go to one of the 3 remaining department stores in the world that do not have automatic doors and you smash right into the glass on your way in, taking an especially tight hit to your abdomen where the handle to manually pull open the door juts into your belly.
6. If you accidentally knock down some clothes as you burrow in between the racks and the store worker gives you a dirty look for not picking them up.
7. If, in your haste to depart the store after you have finally gotten through the cash register, you come across a slower shopper who is nudging his cart along still intently reading his bill to make sure he didn't get screwed out of 5 bucks while totally blocking the exit and you, in an attempt to pass him, smash into his cart, elbow, or both.
8. If you're in the car ready to pull out of the parking lot and some genius places their used shopping cart right in between your car and the car next to you so you can't reverse without hitting the cart.
9. If you feel the compulsion to sit on Santa's lap even though you are heavier than he is, please refrain. Santa possesses a very low strength to weight ratio. And both of you could end up getting arrested, it could get very ugly.
10. If, after you have braved the dangers of the department stores, shops, and malls, you hand someone a gift and they say thank you through gritted teeth and a forced smile...
(insert chorus of voices audio here) DO NOT GET IRRITATED!!!
Read the Novels by Chetan Davé click here
posted by UltimateWriter at 9:43 AM
3 Comments:
Owing to your well-crafted list above, I have taken the online shopping route for six years strong now! I highly recommend it! :)
Besides... number three hits waaay to close to home! :) At the very least, I can't say that I haven't considered it at one time or another...
I hate those shopping carts that are blocking your car as well.
Here's another one I have...
During Holiday Sale, I hate going through an entire rack of clothing items (e.g. jacket, shirts) and not find a single small size item.
The ones left are all XLs, and that means I have to keep washing them so they would shrink.
hmm.. given i rarely shop for others.. dont really face these issues.. but the santa one reminded me of a few archie comics i read!
interesting name u have though!
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